She screams in silence...

To be perfectly honest, I forgot I even had this thing.
Which would be the reason that I haven't posted since April. But oh well.
Sometimes I'm amazed at how funny I can be. But no more...haha.

This year, okay well the fall semester of my sophomore year of school is something I want to quickly put behind me.
It has really been the semester from hell, with multiple mental breakdowns and some seriously stressful times.
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying really really really really really really hard to pull myself together, but its coming to be really hard...

My mind, well it tends to skip between two stages. It's either a complete battlefield, with constantly spewing emotions and mixed signals. Wires cross like the trenches for my synapses to travel, confusing by my conscious mind and my psyche.

Either that or its a complete blank state, with no feeling, no mental transaction. Nothing.
I'm dead inside.

Which is always fun I must admit.




I fear that my life will become this never ending quest to be happy and that I will search for the next sixty years to find peace and tranquility and when it's there, I'll lose funding for it. Both metaphorically and literally.
I fear that I will be stuck reliving the same routine out day to day to day to day.
I hate redundancy.
It's why I don't discuss politics or religion.
Long story. Tell you later.


Well, the semester didn't end on a terrible note. My gpa didn't suck as much as I thought it would. And thinks are working out fairly well with Mike. But I guess we'll have to see with that one....I don't know anymore.

I'm trying to turn things around now. My mental strength and will power falter more than not nowadays. But anyways. Let's see where this takes me.

New year, new start...awww whatever.













kismet.