Is there such a thing...?

As a real Mr. Darcy?
I highly doubt it.
Pride and Prejudice.
A brilliant novel and movie, with an exquisite soundtrack that I desperately desire. Alas, I have failed to even find the complete work online. (Because yes I do illegal thing in my spare time...ha!)
But should somebody stumble across my amazon wishlist, which is sparse at best, I am hoping they shall see the soundtrack there.

Yet here I sit, in the middle of the day, watching this moving and pining for my own Mr. Darcy.
Or at least a very cheap imitation of the thing.
Makes me kind of sick to my stomach.

Not only that, the artistry and craftsmanship that you see splattered all over the movie...I wish I had some form of artistic ability. If even just a scotch or a shred of it I would be appeased.

But, that shall never be. I have neither a steady hand, creative mind, nor pretty figure with which to be embodied in the world of art forever. And I do so desperately wish to be creative. Haha I have the tortured soul of an artist and I attempt to be somewhat imaginative with my words, but that only satisfies the taste for the time being.

But the piano!
Oh how I wish I could play the piano!!!!!
I desperately long for that. To be able to sit down and play out a beautiful composition. It's so elusive a dream but one that I really wish I could fulfill.

But I can't really complain can I...? I've a sharp wit. Ha. It'll get me far but it'll leave me alone, for nobody likes someone who is too sarcastic to even hold a meaningful conversation.

Oh well...There's a lot of things still weighing heavily on my mind. Some I wish I could say, and others I know that if I do anything about them, I don't think I'd like the outcome...